Dating a transgender woman, a respectful guide

Dating a transgender woman is dating a woman. Treat her with the same respect, curiosity and honesty you would bring to any relationship, use her name and she/her, leave medical questions to her, and focus on who she is. The rest of this guide covers the details people ask about most.

Start with respect

She is a person with a job, friends, a family, opinions and plans, and that is what a good first conversation is about. Ask what she does, where she grew up, what she likes about her city. Being trans is part of her life, not the subject of every message.

Language matters. Use the words she uses about herself. In Thailand many women call themselves ladyboy or kathoey, others prefer trans woman or simply woman. Never use slurs, never call a woman "it", and never compare her with "real women". She is one.

Questions not to ask

Some questions come up so often that they end conversations before they start. Unless she brings the topic up herself, skip:

• questions about surgery, her body or what she looked like before,
• her old name or old photos,
• whether she is "really" a woman,
• whether she can have children, early in the conversation,
• how her family "took it".

If she chooses to share these things later, listen. If you are curious in general, read our guides to the kathoey and to Thai ladyboy culture, or ask in the forum, where members discuss transition openly in their own words.

Disclosure and privacy

Many trans women decide carefully who knows they are trans. Some are open everywhere, some only with partners and close friends. Respect her choices. Do not tell friends, colleagues or family about her history without her agreement, and do not post photos of her online without asking. On LadyBoy.net women can show as much or as little on their profiles as they want.

Safety for both of you

Meeting someone from the internet calls for care on both sides, and trans women face extra risks of harassment and violence.

• Keep conversations on the site until you trust each other, so the report and block tools still protect you.
• Meet first in a busy public place and tell a friend where you are.
• Never send money to someone you have not met, whatever the story.
• Report any request for payment, any escort offer and any abusive message.

Dating on LadyBoy.net is between adults without payment. Paid meetings and escort offers are banned and removed, and messages are screened for them. Read the full safety page before your first date.

Meeting her family and friends

When the relationship grows, meeting the people she loves is a step to take at her pace. Ask how she wants to introduce you and what her family already knows. Some families are warm and accepting, some take time. Be patient and polite, and follow her lead on how open to be.

Dating a trans woman in Thailand

Thailand has a long and visible kathoey tradition, from cabaret theatres to beauty pageants, and many people meet their partner here. Visibility is not the same as full acceptance, though. Many women still face limits at work and in law, and family relationships carry a lot of weight in Thai culture.

A few habits help. Be polite and calm in public, as loud arguments and public displays are frowned upon. Show respect to her parents and older relatives. Learn a few words of Thai. The ladyboy dating page explains how members meet across countries.

Meeting transgender women on LadyBoy.net

LadyBoy.net is a home for ladyboys and trans women first, with dating, a forum in English and Thai, verified creators and a city guide. Members search by city, language and intent, send likes and talk once a like is mutual. Verified members carry a badge after an age and ID check.

Membership starts with Member at $14.99 per month ($7.49 billed yearly), with 20 likes per day and 5 new message threads per month. Plus at $29.99 adds unlimited likes and 50 threads per month, and VIP at $59.99 adds unlimited threads and priority support. All plans are on the pricing page.